Let’s Rock…Let’s Not Shall We.

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The snow has gone in what seems like an evening, vaporising in to the air and leaving the dirty mess all over the place. The grit lorries have finally arrived, depositing the corrosive acid just after the snow had gone. Well done Fife Council, you’ve done yourself proud. There still remains the odd patch of lethal ice but on the whole, the snow has disappeared from our lives after 4 weeks of carnage.

Hang on…it’s snowing again.

Anyway.

Tuesday afternoon I gave Stuart a call (Jacksons Bikes) and got him to come get my bike from the work’s garage. Yesterday Gordon (one of his mechanics) arrived in the van and he came in to the garage to see what’s going on. After a prod here and a strained back there he said that in fact all my brakes have seized, and he’s off to get the mallet.

The mallet. Sure enough he returned with a block of wood, shaped ergonomically like a block of wood, which he then whacked off each of the calipers, 1x rear and 2x front, in a bid to free the rust that had seized the brake pads on to the disks. After a few attempts and a worried look on my face as he took a full swing at my calipers, the brake pads seemed to release enough that he could get some motion back and forward and then they were free. With a hurrah from me we began chatting about what the matter was. Counting the calipers he said something like “you’ll need around 20 new seals for your caliper pistons as they will all be messed up from the corrosion. ” He then, upon me asking, calculated it out to be roughly £4 a seal, thus I was facing £80 before my bike had even made it 2 yards. I guffawed and went about pushing the bike out to the van, which was now prepared with the ramp down.

Because the brakes were still pretty gunked up, we had to push quite hard to get the bike up the hill and then up the ramp in to the van, but in doing so, and because of my lack of height judgement, I whacked the top of my head square off the top of the door. I mean whacked. The van shook.

Gordon said “It’s alright, I’ve got the bike” indicating to let go of the grab handle at the back, but I was holding on to it so I didn’t collapse. Anyway, I made like a man and whimpered out the back of the van and he said I’ll get a call when there’s anything to report.

So heading back in to work, head thumping and dizzy, I was furious with the GSR. It’s a shame because it isn’t the GSR’s fault that the brakes got seized. It was me. I didn’t fight my way through the winter carnage of -11°C with a bucket, sponge and water to get the GSR’s brakes cleaned, in my works garage with no hose. And because of this, I will now have to pay at least £80.

But I am furious about the ignition barrel seizing. That bit I wasn’t at fault for. And after all these years of riding every day, I still am amazed when I get the answer to why these things happen:

“Because you ride your bike.”

Because. I. ride. my. bike. It’s not, “Because you ride your bike like a fool.” or “You don’t ride your bike” even.  People often say to me, “but you see 10 year old bikes that are in great condition!?”

Well let me tell you folks, I do indeed ride me bike a lot more than say most other people who own a bike in Scotland. But I, contrary to popular belief, do actually take care of my bike. I wash it nearly every weekend unless it’s chucking it down or snowing. It’s the weekday stuff that really takes it’s toll, coming home after a wet ride and leaving the bike overnight outside, under a cover albeit but still outside.

The bloke at the Suzuki garage said explicitly that this is why my bike is in such poor condition, it’s because the bike comes home and sits with all the road salt/crap and festers. I then do this for 5 days before it gets fresh water/Zymol on it. So unless you have a garage and hose nearby, you’ve got no chance…and I don’t have a garage.  Or a hose.  And it’s false logic to go all the way up to my Ma’s, only to wash my bike, get back on it and ride for 20 minutes in the rain and crap again. So what do you do? You can’t wash your bike during the week, but you need to wash it in order for it to not fall apart whilst going along the motorway.
Answer A: You buy a house with a garage. And a hose.

Answer B: You go to a nearby garage that has a car wash and go for it. You’ll still get crap on it before you get home but it’s a lot less crap than it would be going to Mum’s.

Answer C (My favourite): You get a bike that is actually fit for purpose, and not one that’s built to last 8,000 miles of sunny riding…

I could have used KTM or indeed Ducati, or indeed Husqvarna. But in the broad terms of “Enduro Bike” you almost always think “Ewan and Charlie”…don’t you?

So after heading back in to work with a sore head, I was furious with the GSR enough to bash BMW in to google and have a wee browse in my stupour.

I’ve almost always steered away from the Beemers because I love the look of naked sports bikes. I love the fact that it’s the “raw” version of the faired go-fast bikes. More recently I have taken a shining to the KTM RC8, because in a word, it’s Gorgeous. But the other day there, in a moment of quiet contemplation, I stripped back the lust and want, I removed the gawking and stroking and I asked myself just what exactly am I doing with this banana…

I mean what kind of bike would suit what I use it for? The faired superbikes that I lust after just wouldn’t cut it. Aye their engines are kind of protected with the fairing, and aye they would be good to ride. But I doubt they would be year round comfy. What about touring? I know Emma doesn’t go on the bike that much but I still factor it in to my decision making. And I know for a fact she wouldn’t enjoy a superbike pillion seat.

So what does that leave? Well naked bikes aye, but they just don’t cut it with the riding I do. Well what about something like the KTM Superduke? It’s from a manufacturer that’s based around Enduro bikes, but it’s got the looks you want and indeed the performance and a back seat to boot.

I think the KTM SD is to many a track bike, an edge of the seat ride that takes no prisoners and is a “baw-hair” from being rubber side down to rubber side up.

That leaves only one real choice.

I need a REAL bike. I need a bike that won’t fall apart after 2 months of use. I need a bike from a manufacturer who isn’t targeting the “weekend warrior”, the 2000 miles a year kind of rider. I want a bike from a manufacturer who knows what someone like me needs, and what I don’t. I don’t need to wheelie. I don’t need to have my knee down. I need a bike that has shaft drive and heated grips.

Enter then please, the BMW R1200GS (that’s the one below the Ewan and Charlie model. That’s known as the R1200GS Adventure. OOOOOO)

(Taken from BMW Motorrad Website)

So lets see. Does it have shaft drive? Aye. Does it have heated grips? Aye (A massive £210 optional extra by the way!) Does it have endurance background? Aye.

It has a big screen for the rain. It has an engine in front of your feet, so no more cold wet feet. It has  a single sided swing arm. it has a luxurious looking seat (for both) it has a massive tank (20l, with 4l reserve) and although it has a 150 section rear, it’s built for mileage. It’s also 100bhp, so 4 more than the GSR meaning insurance shouldn’t be too much more, although it is a good deal more expensive…

£9925 on the road, as compared to the £4295 otr for my GSR back in 2008. So the weigh in begins.

I guess we’ll just have to wait, because there’s no way I can get a new motorcycle at the minute. This also means repairing the GSR yet again, and who knows, that may be anything from a clean service and new caliper seals, to a new ignition block if they can’t unseize it. And who knows how much that’ll cost? By my experience, £100 won’t cover it.